Does Size Really Matter?

So the other day Jay and I invited a close friend over for dinner.  And we told her all about our blog here at and about our sex toys.  As the converstaion continued her interest grew and grew.  She was shooting questions left, right and centre.  She certainly gave us a lot to write about over the course of the next few days.  One of the questions which caught us off-guard was concerning size.  She wanted to know what is the biggest dildo.  And to tell you the truth we really did not know.  So to answer her question and to satisfy our own curiosity, I started doing a bit of research.  I was surprised at the data I uncovered about this and many other topics which we will blog about as we move forward.  LoveHoney, one of the top online sex stores that we have personally bought from and reviewed here on our blog, commissioned a study back in 2014 about the buying habits of people who purchase sex toys and other adult accessories.  The data was astonishing.


You ever wondered why some people are so obsessed with the size of men’s sexual organs and sex toys?  Does size matter? Do you ever think that as a man you are small or could be bigger?  Or ever thought about what is the biggest dildo on sale?  Well, apparently according to the data we unearthed, size does matter.  We found that over 700 people a month carry out searches in Google for the exact keywords, “What is the biggest dildo”. And you’d never guess who’s interested in the big dildos?   Later on in the article we reveal who are the main culprits when it comes to buying large dildos.


What is the Biggest Dildo?

So, what is the biggest dildo anyway?  We searched far and wide to dig up the largest dildo.  Our search was divided into three categories:

  • Category 1: Biggest but impractical
  • Category 2: The longest usable dildo
  • Category 3: The most massive usable dildo in terms sheer size (length and girth)


Here are some of our findings.



CATEGORY 1: Biggest but impractical


1. The 12 Foot Pipe Dream



We found a few promotional ones like what you’d see in front of a store, but the largest was one developed by PipeDream.  A massive 12.25 feet tall realistic looking penis with balls and veins included.  I doubt that a dildo that size is practical for everyday sexual use.  But don’t be surprised if there are a few out there (male and female) who’d consider trying it out.






2. Moby Dick



Then there’s the Moby Dick.  This dildo is 3 feet long and weighs about 50 pounds.  Again, we didn’t think that this dildo is realistic for penetration.  But some have tried.  A search at some of the reviews on Amazon were quite revealing and hilarious, truth be told.  So one reviewer claimed that she used the dildo to satisfy her pet elephant, Stampy, who apparently couldn’t get enough of this humongous dildo treat.  Someone said they use it as a hat stand.  Another review said it fit fine whilst another claimed it was not big enough.  We haven’t personally seen the Moby live and direct, but from the image on the left we highly suspect that both reviewers were exaggerating.  Or were they?


The Moby retails at over $500 a piece and can be purchased at Amazon.  Great to use as a promotional prop for your store or as a conversational piece for the most liberal households.  But we DO NOT recommend trying inserting it into any of your anatomical orifices.  This could be dangerous to your well-being.




CATEGORY 2: The longest usable dildo


3. The Hoodlum Dildo

This dildo is the longest we’ve found – the Hoodlum Tapered Dildo. It is suitable for both advanced users and beginners.  It’s a whopping 22 inches but appropriately tapered on one end for easy insertion for beginners and thicker on the other for more advanced ‘players’.  You can insert just a few inches as far as you desire or go all the way, up to you.  If you know of a longer dildo than the Hoodlum, just send us a note in the comment box below and we’d gladly update our list.


Just to put things in perspective, 22 inches is a little taller than 4 coca cola cans stacked one on top the other.




Image courtesy LoveHoney



CATEGORY 3: The Most Massive Usable Dildo


4. The Master Series Four Stage Rocket Dildo

Buckle up, put on your helmet and stock up on vitamin C because this next dildo is not for the faint of heart.  The Master Series Four Stage Rocket Dildo is what we consider to be one of the most massive dildos on the market.  It is both long and thick and is definitely not for beginners, no matter how ambitious they might be.  And to be quite honest with you we’ve never tried the Master Series Rocket Dildo and we never will.  But don’t let that stop you.  If you think you can handle it (we don’t think we can) then you should go for it.  Just ease into it or should we say ease it into you.


At first glance it does not seem big but in reality it’s humongous. It’s 12.5 inches long (not too big for some) but it’s a staggering 11.5 inches in girth (so not so easy to take in).  The bulbs progressively widen from tip to base making it sort of an amalgam of a butt plug and a dildo.  It has a convenient suction cup at the base making it easy to use hands-free and a tapered tip for easy (relatively) insertion. If you can find a more massive dildo than this one let us know in the comments box below and we will definitely update this article to include it.


Master Series Four Stage Rocket Dildo can be purchased at LoveHoney for $78.  It ships discreetly and you get a 365-day money back guarantee, no questions asked.




Image courtesy LoveHoney



Who Buys the Biggest Dildo?

The 2014 LoveHoney study revealed that when it comes to buying big dildos, men take the cake.  Isn’t that fascinating? Dildos between 5 and 7 inches are more commonly purchased by women. However, as the dildo gets bigger and bigger (above 7 inches) men outnumber the women in every plus-size category.  For a 6 inch dildo, 25% of the sales are made by women compared to around 19% for men. However, the opposite occurs as the dildo gets bigger. Approximately 24% of the sales of dildos above 8 inches are attributed to men whilst only 15% are credited to women.  That’s right!  Men are more intrigued by size than women.

            Percentage of Dildos Sales by Gender                         Percentage of Butt Plug Sales by Gender










But is it just gay men who buy dildos? The next article coming out in a couple days will explore this topic in depth.


Why Does Dildo Size Matter?

So why does dildo size matter any way?  Why would one even consider asking the question, “What is the biggest dildo?”  Why would someone even contemplate inserting a 22 inch dildo in their interior areas?  Well, we have an opinion on this topic. It’s not based on any empirical study or anything like that.  Instead,  it is based on our understanding of sex and how the human mind operates.  Size is a matter of personal interest or taste, but more critically, it is a matter of perception and achievement.  What inspires someone to climb Mount Everest or to scuba dive to the deepest parts of the ocean?  What motivates someone to skydive from 20,000 feet in the air or surf the biggest wave or drive the fastest car?  It’s a peculiar need by most human beings to achieve the seemingly unachievable.  Or, as Star Trek puts it, “To boldly go where no man has gone before.”  The same holds true for people’s fascination with dildo size.  Who wants to talk about a 5 inch dildo?  Where’s the fun in that?  But to say that you were able to take a 22 inch long dildo or a 12 inch (girth) butt plug makes for a fantastic story, even if that story is just in your own little head.  It’s all about ego really; the satisfaction you get from being able to do something that most cannot.  And interestingly, this fascination with achievement and extreme sports is even more pronounced in men.  Yes, taking a big dildo up the butt is akin to an extreme sport – it could be dangerous, there’s a rush of adrenaline, there’s a big  boost to your ego in terms of achievement, and it is definitely not for the squeamish.  So the next time you think about gay people as being ‘pansies’ or ‘sissy boys’, think again!  It takes a real man to put a Master Series Four Stage Rocket Dildo up his nether regions.  Just saying.


Thanks for reading guys and remember what we always say.  Sex is supposed to be fun.  So be playful about it.  In fact, life in general is one big joyous ride.  So ride it real good, nice and slow.


Yours always


Jay & Kay



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