About Us

Hi There,


We’re Jay and Kay.


You’re probably wondering why we’re talking at all about male sex toys or why the male sex toy has any place in the bedroom or in a relationship for that matter. The notion of sex toys for men is taboo for some but not for us. Using sex toys to spice up a relationship is a very effective strategy.  After all, sex is supposed to be fun and playful. And what better way to have fun and spice things up than using sex toys in a relationship.


So how did we get here?


Jay and I have been together for over eight years now. We sat next to each other on a ferry ride back in 2008. We were both on an away-from-home work trip. I was on a business trip to meet some clients and he was heading off to a new post for six months.


When I first saw him back on that ferry ride I thought he was quite dapper and incredibly cute. He was sitting in a section all by himself. “Ooh eye candy”, I thought to myself and plumped myself down on a couple seats to his right. He was rather quiet. I learnt later that he was a bit sea sick at the time and the conversations we had kept his mind off of his ill feelings.


As it worked out, Jay and I worked in related industries. I was a consultant for a tourism firm out of Germany and he worked in an official capacity with the government in a tourism related post. I gave him my business card and told him to give me a shout if he wanted to hang out or something. And as they say, “The rest was history!”


Our first experience with sex toys goes back to a few weeks after we started hanging out. We were not even an official couple as yet. Needless to say, I saw this cool silicone, battery operated dildo whilst on a business trip to London and I bought it for him. It was from a popular sex shop in Soho. Of course, he was a bit taken aback. At that point we were already having sex and started developing strong feelings for each other but we were still not exclusive. So me buying a sex toy for the first time in our early relationship was a bit risky. But he said it was the best first sex toy ever. Then months later (after we were official this time) I traveled to the Dominican Republic and bought him another sexual trinket. This was more an erotic art piece, just a little something to let him know I was thinking about him while we were apart.


We’ve always believed that sex is an important aspect of any romantic relationship., especially for two young and healthy men. Why not spice up your sex life? Why not make sex both loving and playful? We’ve found a lot of different things that worked for us – change of scenery, different locations and varied positions. We’ve tried different types of lube – silicone based lube, water based lube (ID Glide is our favorite), aloe vera gel, oils and even saliva (yes, the last one was not so pleasant).  We’ve had sex on the beach (no not the drink), in the bushes, by the river, on the couch, in the bathroom, standing up, sitting down and even overlooking the courtyard through our hotel  room window (alright, we love sex, who doesn’t).  We believe in trying anything and everything at least once – as long as we do it together and as long as we’re both sharing our love for each other and having lots of safe fun.  After all isn’t that what sex is all about – fun?


Hope you enjoy our site!





10 Comments to About Us

  1. Mario says:

    Hey J&K,

    I literally love this website. It’s so open minded and it says directly what other men wish but are afraid to say. You really drive forward this particular topic rapidly and I hope the world will finally become more open minded place thankfully to people like yourself.

    As my ex-girlfriend always limited me in this way and many others, I had to quit that relationship. So I wanna say, does not matter what kind of relationship you are in, all people naturally wanna play and these sex toys level everything up.

    Have you heard of new japanese technology how they created sex dolls? Once they implenet into them robot system which most advanced robot ASIMO has, we wiil not ever need conservative people in this way. I would rather stay with robotic sex doll better than with someone who limits me and doesn’t want to play to the fullest.

    Thank you for great work,


    • Kay says:

      Thanks for your comment Mario. Interesting that you would bring up the Japanese sex doll issue. That’s an article that Jay and I are working on right now. So stay posted.

      It’s always a bummer when we are in restrictive relationships. But you just have to find the right person that allows you to be YOU. Th world would be such a better place if people were more playful in all aspects of their lives and especially in their relationships. Many relationships disintegrate because people are just too serious about everything. But I can’t say that I’d rather be with a sex doll though. I might consider having one to spice things up. You know a threesome without a third person. But human contact is so important. So I have feeling that sex dolls won’t catch on too much. What are your thoughts on that? Do you think sex doll robots will become a common practice?



      • Mario says:

        Thanks for quick response. That’s very true because human beings are naturally based emotionally.

        It will not become common practise so soon neither in Europe nor in States but Japanese will use it deffinetely. As I was in Japan, I can say the japanese society is developed mentally much more forward and if they should tie up in relationship that doesn’t give them everything they want, they would choose sex doll over human being.

        But everyone yet is looking for true love with true feelings and I hope this will not disappear in the future as we might extinct then as a whole society.

        • Kay says:

          Totally agree with you Mario. People are emotional beings who are always looking for love. I think it was Pope John Paul II who said that the meaning of life is found in giving and receiving love. So hopefully that will never disappear.

          But as you said the Japanese are quite different people, with a different mindset. Also, there are some people who are into sex dolls as a permanent substitute for a real person (this is rare though). And they exist all over. Some Psychologists would say that that is abnormal behavior. But hey, to each his own right. But I could see how someone who is fed up with the hassles of a real relationship, especially if they were hurt in the past, could totally turn their mind off of being with a real person and choose a robot or doll instead. Who knows, this could even be a solution for the problem in China and India where there are considerably more men than women. I know of a case in a rural village in India where 5 brothers are sharing the same wife. Maybe we could get the UN to send them some sex dolls as a form of foreign aid. LOL

          All the best Mario and thanks for sharing.



  2. Jose Jaramillo says:

    I do understand the difficulty of maintaining self control as the Catholic church teaches so strongly. I also know that the church is not the people but this does leave us feeling empty and needing sex as I understand it, I find sex very pleasurable also! However I do not use sex toys this all new to me! I did know that sex toys existed but never knew the types!

    In other words I grew up the same. I still question my sexuality at times but have not been using sex as a way to pleasure myself as of late! Good luck in the venture and the best of luck in your own healing and journey!

    • Kay says:

      Thanks Jose. I know what you mean. But we have to realize that sex is a gift from God. We have to use it wisely and with responsibility. We also have to realize that pleasure is also a blessing but to be used in the right context. For example, sex should never be used to hurt or control or objectify other people but to share as an expression of love, pleasure and connection. Sex is also a human need like the need to eat, sleep and breathe. If we suppress who we are then that could have negative consequences. At the same time, if we abuse these gifts then there are also negative consequences. So a balance has to be found and that in essence is what virtue is – balance. One of the long term objectives of my site is to help people, particularly gay men, come to terms with their struggle around the topic of sex and as you said to heal. Sexual healing is a real and powerful tool. Yes, a tool and NOT an end.

      Good luck to you in your personal journey. If you ever need to share or need advice you can feel free to contact us directly at info@jaynkay.com

      All the best


  3. Joe says:

    Boys will be boys!
    Nice to know there is a site like this for men 🙂
    It’s all about having fun right?
    Thanks for the great articles J&K and
    best wishes!
    – Joe

  4. JeffWA says:

    Hi Jay and Kerry,
    While your site probably would be in the category of “adults’ only” still in reading through your “about us” page I was very impressed on how you treated the subject of sex, sexual relationships, and the various “toys” that you use to enhance your activity of sex more than anything else.

    Sex used to be such a “taboo” word and activity best kept in the bedroom between individuals and not to be discussed publicly.

    However we’re not in the early 1960’s anymore and a site such as yours promises to be one that will provide education and tips to allow a couple to fully enjoy what glorious highs can be achieved through the act of having sex. It should also draw very many visitors.

    I did get a kick out of one of your categories, (nothing written yet) entitled sex education. I’m now in my late 50s age wise. In public school we did not have sex education until 11th grade, a year before graduation and taught by the phys. ed teacher back in the fall of 1973. Two of the more interesting things which I still remember then was that one of my best friends, a female not yet 16 years old was already about 4 – 5 months pregnant with what would turn out to be a baby girl born early in 1974. No I was not the father.

    The other thing was that when the phys. teacher explained that technically it is possible for a woman to become pregnant at any time during her monthly cycle this same young gal was sitting on the floor next to me, (the teacher always offered her a chair but she always declined. No doubt it was the teacher’s intent to make an example out of her). I still vividly remember her grabbing my arm and then whispering into my ear, “My God Jeff! I did not know that”!

    Perhaps the sex ed classes taught then for the first time to mainly 16 year old teenage kids should have been provided much sooner. Btw, my friend was not the first gal in my class who got pregnant as a teenager. That honor went to another gal in my class who got pregnant when she was still 13 years old, late as an 8th grader and gave birth to a baby boy at age 14!

    Great article,


    • admin says:

      Thanks Jeff for your comments. We are very happy to be living in the 21st century. Growing up in an ultra Catholic environment, sex was so taboo. I remember back in high school that the leaders of the Church were totally against any form of sex education in schools. Needless to say, kids (Catholic or not) were having some form of sex from the time they crossed the puberty threshold. I believe that knowledge is power. What we do with that knowledge is entirely up to us.

      Much success to you.


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