7 Easy Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

I’ve heard complaints from many women that their sex life is mediocre at best.  Often they blame it on the men.  So we decided to develop a quick guide to help you guys spice up your sex life and avoid being categorized as a mediocre or lousy lover in bed.  Won’t you like to be considered as the ultimate stud in the sack? And maybe you already are, but learning one or two new tricks won’t hurt, right?  So here are 7 things you can do to spice up your sex life.


1. Focus on Your Partner’s Pleasure First


Often you’d think that the best way to get pleasure out of sex is to focus on getting your own rocks off. But I’ve found that some of our most steamy sex happens when I focus on making Jay happy. I get off on him getting off. It’s like the more you give, the more you get.  Make your partner moan and writhe in pleasure. When you do this I guarantee that you be more aroused than you could ever imagine.  Try it, you’d like it.

2. Take it Slow


how to spice up your sex life
Sometimes we just want to go right to the happy ending.  But I’ve found that the slower you go and the longer you prolong orgasm, the more mind blowing it would be in the end. Nicole Daedone, in her recent book called, “The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm”, claims that most women do not have fully satisfying sex. She goes on to say that slow sex can change that. And I totally agree. But it does not only apply to women but to men as well. Even when you are talking about solo pleasure, slow is better. Edging is the term used for slow masturbation. You bring yourself to the edge of orgasm and hold off, then start again and repeat a few times.  So whether it’s with a partner or on your own, try it slow and prolong things to build up to an orgasmic crescendo.


3. Turn Foreplay into Sex Play

Foreply to spice up your sex life

For me, foreplay is one of the most important part of love making. If you see foreplay as just that boring part you have to endure in order to get to the real stuff then you are going about it the wrong way. In fact, foreplay should never considered as a separate component of sex. Rather than thinking of it as foreplay, consider it sex play. Try playing a little game.  See who could make the other moan the loudest. Explore each other’s bodies and try to find the most sensitive erogenous zones. Even if you have been in a relationship for years you might be surprised. See if you can find new spots on your partners body that make their toes curl.

4. Use Toys – not Fit for Children 


One of the tragedies of the human condition is that as we become adults we and take on the responsibilities of the world, we lose our childlike playfulness. Bring back the inner child in your sex life. And what better way to be childlike than to play with toys – sex toys. There are so many adult toys to choose from. Online shopping could be a very convenient and discreet way to get your toys. Check out Amazon.com for reasonable toys. If you want something of higher quality check out Adult Shopping.

5. Communication is Key


You’ve probably heard this line before, “Communication is the key to a successful relationship”. The same rule applies to sex. Be vocal about what you want out of sex with your partner. Do not be shy to say what pleases you. How else would your partner know what you like and don’t like. Mind reading is perhaps not one of your partner’s traits. So speak up.

6. Dirty Dancing

Ever saw the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’ with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. Or what about the ‘Lambada’. If you have, then you’d know that dancing can be a very sensual act. Try dancing with no clothes on. Or start fully clothed and gradually strip each other. That can spice things up really quickly.  And why not put on a strip tease show for your partner. I know it sounds corny but it’s lots of fun and can really bring back the spice in your sex life. At least your partner will see that you are making an effort to spice things up.

7. Try Different Positions


Sex can get boring after  while.  If you’re doing it in the same place and the same position all the time, you can develop a routine.  That’s not necessarily a terrible thing, but sometimes you want to heat things up a bit.  Try different positions to spice up your sex life. Whether it’s the cow girl or cow boy, the wheel barrow or the helicopter, try what makes sens for you and your partner. Some positions are more intense than others and some can even be dangerous if not performed properly. Get hot, not hurt.

8. Do it in Unusual Places


Between a rock and a hard place, that’s literally one of the places Jay and I did whoopee one time. It was around 1:00 a.m. and we were on vacation in the Caribbean. We went for a skinny dip at a nearby beach and did it behind a rock in the water. It was hot and let’s say we made our own waves. The idea of getting seen added adrenaline. It’s something I’d never forget. And that’s just the thing. When you have regular sex in the bedroom, no matter how great it was, it’s forgotten within a few days or even hours. But when you try different things in your sex life you create memories for a lifetime, like Jay and my hard rock beach escapade. I can recall all of the strange places we did it. So those are memories that we’d take to with us during the course of our relationship.

9. Clothing Optional


Jay and I go naked in house whenever we can. For those of you who have kids or share your dwelling place then this might not be ideal. But if you do get a chance, the kids are away and you have the house to yourself, then go ‘au natural’. Not only is it a liberating experience but you have a greater chance of scoring.

10. Games Night Gone Wild


spice up sex life with sex games


In keeping with the theme of fun and play in the bedroom, why not set up a games night for two. Get a few sexy games, costumes and lingerie and do your games night once a month at the very least. Turn any normal game into something sexy by making the loser strip, like strip poker. But it could just as easily be strip Chess, strip Hang-man or strip Taboo. But whatever you do have fun and make sure you get a happy ending, win or lose.

10 Comments to 7 Easy Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

  1. sandra says:

    You touched on a lot of important and fun stuff! Looking forward to reading more!

  2. Doug Arthur says:

    Man, this is great! It’s got me thinking about trying everything you’ve listed right now!

  3. Barbara says:

    Wow, you said 7 ways to spice up your sex life, but even better you listed 10 ways – bonus!!! Anyway, this is a great site with great and helpful information. I like that you write for both men and women perspectives. I can’t wait to read more!!!
    Thanks again for a great site,

    • Kay says:

      Thanks Barbara,

      Actually it started off with seven but I just couldn’t stop writing. LOL. So there you go. Lucky 7 turned into 10. But even if you implement just 1 or 2 points you’d be well on your way to putting back the oomph in your relationship. If you get a chance check out our latest post – https://jaynkay.com/how-to-overcome-sexual-shame#….

      Keep posted for more.

      All the best


  4. kevin says:

    i like this page, nice easy tips to follow , even someone who is as lazy as i am could do this stuff, not all of though, i am will to put atleast 3 or 4 into use, but i won’t report on if the where effective or not , that will be my secret

    • Kay says:

      Thanks for your comment Kevin. Sure, these are just suggestions. Use what works for you. Whether it is one idea or all. And I think your partner will be happy too. And why not report on it. We’re going to be featuring a new forum called “Confessions” so you could anonymously share your secrets and successes in the bedroom. LOL

      All the best


  5. Mark says:

    Wow!! Now that’s what I’m talking about… somebody who knows exactly what they want and not afraid to tell their partner. It’s good to see that you guys are keeping the spark alive and well. I really enjoyed reading the 7 tips suggested by you guys… however, I must admit the last time I tried being spontaneous and blowing my girl’s mind… we ended up with twins!!

    • Kay says:

      Hahaha Mark. This was the funniest comment we’ve received to date. Mind blown or not, I’m sure you love your twins. But spicing up your sex life once in a while is not too bad. It just requires a little planning so you’d know when your girl is fertile or not. LOL. But keep at it. Sex is fun. Even the outcome (a.k.a. twins) could be fun too, right?

      All the best Mark


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *